Wings

[Xeenah]

ENTRY: March 7th, 29485 - Cherelle Clay

It's been a while. I don't even know where to start...

It's not easy to keep going without news from Jen. It's harder to turn down these refugees, friends of Assembly, who are eager to join and help out by sharing their talents...  I've broken the rule about friends of friends of friends and Kotts agreed to this as well. "We're so few, we can use all the help we can get." He had a point. Indeed, activity has been picking up since, so on that regard, I can't say it's really a failure. However, it's still against our own rules.

Damnit.

Ridge is back, and he brought his family with him. It feels good to see them. They've been a huge help and we may soon reach self-sufficiency with many operations that we used to struggle insanely for. Var left Rubi-Ka again but before she did, we both kept the promise we made to one another to walk the path to enlightenment together. I miss her sorely, not only for her incredible talent as a doc, but for her sharp spirit and her steel drive. I am taking it better that I did in the past. Not that I don't care as much, but it's become a familiar feeling to see loved ones go away. Though it's never easy, the feeling doesn't take me by surprise anymore. At least, I know what to expect.

With the twins growing up, I find my self less and less available on weekends for the day shift. That affects my tenure as Council clerk. I don't want to dump everything on Raz's shoulders, even though she has capable shoulders, but it wouldn't be fair. I informed the Council of this scheduling problem and told them that I wasn't stepping down abruptly, not before I could gather and pass on the information I had to struggle to gather when I started. Will held back a lot of information from Steely and me, but what had been written down could still be accessed and with the help of former clerks and Legacy Leaders, I managed to get a good portrait of the job.

I can't help feeling disappointed that Will tried to block Steely and me. I can't help feeling sad for the gag that had been tied on the Council. The most ironic is when people wail about how nothing happens, but yet fail to show up when we try to organize a movement to action. Hah! Back bencher coach syndrome, maybe? *snickers*

Freedom is such a burden, it's so much easier to be led and blame the leaders for everything... *sarcastic grin* We still think as a pack of wolves, with a visceral need for a leader and followers... That's not quite how the Council is structured. But few can wrap their heads around the concept, and we always fall back in the old tracks of conventional government "a la Omni-Tek" even though we claim to reject it... Go figure. It makes the neurones twitch.

Nonetheless, the Council is our last platform to make something happen. I have no wish to see it weakened.