OOC Chit Chat > Social

Phasefront's disclaimer

(1/2) > >>

There is a robot on the main Phasefront platform in Newland, Phasefront Salesbot H-91. When initiating dialogue with it, you may come across an option to learn more about the Phasefront disclaimer...

Character: What was this disclaimer you mentioned?
Phasefront Salesbot H-91: All Phasefront vehicles come with a standard disclaimer contract, assumed to be agreed upon at the time of purchase. It is the consumer's responsibility to seek out and hear this disclaimer before purchasing one of our fine vehicles, as Phasefront does not hold any legal responsibility for terms outlined within the official disclaimer. Would you like to be read the terms and responsibilities?
Character: Um... sure. I think.
The android pauses for a moment, his head tilting slightly to one side. You would almost think you could see its motionless features shifting slightly, something about its face imperceptibly changed. When it speaks again, the words are spoken with a much less lively tone, and almost seem rather dire.
Phasefront Salesbot H-91:

The disclaimer:

By purchasing a Phasefront-branded (heretofore referred to as "Phasefront", "Phasefront Industries", "Phasefront Corporation", "Phasefront Incorporated", or "the company") vehicle, the end user agrees to the following terms and conditions.

The end consumer is responsible for all tax, tags, licensing, and titling of their purchase. Phasefront does not provide any or all of the above.

One size fits all. This statement not guaranteed.

All Phasefront-branded vehicles within the Rubi-Ka market (sector three-nine-four, marketing plan two) are refurbished and sold "as-is". Phasefront does not imply nor will uphold any warranty on vehicles sold within this market.

Do not operate a Phasefront-branded vehicle while under the influence of any form of alcohol or medication.

Phasefront is not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages or injury resulting from any defect, error, or failure to perform which may arise due to usage of a Phasefront-branded vehicle or accessory.

Colors may, in time, fade, or garner more scratches.

By purchasing a Phasefront-branded vehicle, the end user agrees to absolve the company of any and all legal responsibility in the case of injury, grievous or otherwise, and waives their right to seek legal action against Phasefront through any means.
Character: (keep listening...)
Phasefront Salesbot H-91: Phasefront-branded vehicles should not be used by children under the age of eighteen. Usage of a Phasefront-branded vehicle by persons under this age constitutes a violation of the Phasefront license, and the company cannot be held responsible for death or injury which may occur.

Phasefront-branded vehicles are for recreational use only.

Phasefront does not allow for Phasefront-branded vehicles to appear in any form of commercial usage without prior and express permission from the company. Using a Phasefront-branded vehicle in such a method as to obtain monetary gain without said permission may result in legal action.

Use at your own risk.

Members who have not filed a valid and timely request for exclusion shall be forever barred from suing Defendants and their past, present, and future directors, officers, employees, agents, insurers, shareholders, attorneys, advisors, consultants, representatives, partners, affiliates, parents, subsidiaries, joint ventures, independent contractors, divisions, predecessors, successors, and assigns, for any and all liabilities, claims, causes of action, damages, costs, attorneys' fees, losses, or demands, whether known or unknown, existing or potential, or suspected or unsuspected, that were or could have been asserted in the Actions.

Objects in rear-view nanocameras may be closer than they appear.

Some equipment shown is optional.

Any and all sales tags may not be removed except by consumer under penalty of law.

The robot's voice brightens again after this spiel, and you could almost swear that its smile followed suit.
Phasefront Salesbot H-91:
Thank you for listening to our disclaimer. If you have any questions regarding the preceding message, please forward them to the Phasefront Legal Department.

At this point, your dialogue options are

* I think I'd like to ask about something else now. Please.
* Goodbye.

I would just like to share something I just noticed.

Phasefront Kananmuna?

Kananmuna is Finnish for chicken egg...

...and that's about what it looks like, only a more high-tech chicken egg :P

Bok bok bok bok!

How about the Hiisi in Penumbra, Cord? With Tapiolainen and all those guys. You have a whole representation of Finnish mythology there, right?


[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version